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Back in Black: Part 01 :icondottir-of-loki:Dottir-Of-Loki 3 5 Hair Dyed Red :icondottir-of-loki:Dottir-Of-Loki 3 3 Fun with Cotton Candy :icondottir-of-loki:Dottir-Of-Loki 4 6 New hat!!!!!! :icondottir-of-loki:Dottir-Of-Loki 2 0 straw hat :icondottir-of-loki:Dottir-Of-Loki 2 2 First time in a dress :icondottir-of-loki:Dottir-Of-Loki 5 10 Chiss Me :icondottir-of-loki:Dottir-Of-Loki 0 2 A flattering color :icondottir-of-loki:Dottir-Of-Loki 2 2 C'est moi :icondottir-of-loki:Dottir-Of-Loki 1 2
Literature
A life in transition: I just want to be me
When I was younger, like in the 11-13 range. I was doing things and thinking things that weren't "normal" for a boy. It's only now I realized why there this thought there was something wrong with me, because I had my thinking cap on backwards, to paraphrase a phrase. I remember many times, that these thoughts are wrong...I suppressed these thoughts and things for years. I'm 28 now and I realized that I shouldn't have done that, I am this way and I shouldn't penalized for it.
I remember wanting to be a girl, to turn into a girl, to dress like a girl. Being raised as a boy, and feeling like that...it made me think I was a freak. Was I ever comfortable with my male body? Probably not, on some level I was somewhat underdeveloped, I age physically slightly slower than some people. I remember being really fearful of changing in front of other males when in junior high school, most likely due to those thoughts I kept trying to suppress.
There were other things I kept thinking about, I kept ha
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Literature
A life in transition: funds and insurance
A life in transition: funds and insurance
When talking and/or thinking about it, one of the things the tends to be a big issue, is funds. For some, insurance will be able to cover in part or whole of the cost(s) to go from start to finish. Typically starts with psych evals, moves to things like HRT and will end for many with SRS. While that last sentence is a generalized synopsis of what happens for many people in transition, I've come to realize research is key.
Many people who want to transition are typically out of a job, haven't had a job, or are simply not in a decent financial situation to pay for transition partly or wholly. This can be most difficult on teens that want to go from male to female and vice versa, whether or not their family is supportive, a lack of funds and/or enough funds in any case is a big problem. There are a lot of insurance plans in recent years that cover things like psych visits and HRT, but not SRS.
Whatever the case maybe, getting a job is more than ke
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Literature
A life in transition: Wasted Time
A Life in transition: Wasted Time
I'm in my late 20s, do I wish I realized it sooner? In my way early teens, there were telltale signs. But I suppressed that part of me as much as I could, I had enough trouble fitting it as it was. I thought maybe something was wrong with me, and there was...I wasn't feel very "male". Only now, not long after my 28th birthday back in Jan of 2015 do I realize this.
If was born just 10 years later, I might have had a better shot and transitioning than I do right now. Especially do to voice concerns, teeth and my hair loss. I've known for a good long time I was going to go bald in some form when I got older, it runs on both sides of my family. I've had some teeth removed in my time as a male and they aren't in the best of shape either.
My voice is low too, which concerns me greatly if/when it will come time to pass as female. All of those things combined, make me wish I realized it sooner and didn't buy into what I was forced fed (so to speak) in my 28 ye
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Literature
Loki/Lady Loki symbol pic
Why the loki/lady loki pic?
Its become the symbol of my transition, loki was seen as male when he was in male form and female while in female form....loki was still loki either way to the gods and goddesses of asgard. His form didn't matter to them, sometimes his antics with form changes aided the gods.
In marvel comics, asgardians were once had their forms destroyed, and were reborn into human beings...much like how Thor's physical self was sealed in a human while his asgardian powers were bound to his hammer mjonir. Loki was beborn into the body of a woman, loki still retained all the powers of loki...but loki's natural state was that of a woman.
Loki is perhaps the transgender/transsexual and pansexual icon of marvel comics now, it doesn't matter what form loki takes...loki will be loki.
The reason I chose a pic of loki/lady loki is because its the most accurate representation of myself during this transition period of how I look vs feel.
It will have to do for now, until I can affo
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Literature
A life in transition: mannerisms
A life in transition: Mannerisms
*I've decided to record some of my thoughts about certain things while I have "a life in transition", these thoughts won't be in any order. They're just things I'd like to get off my chest, when they come to mind ya know?
Mannerisms:
You don't think too much or read too much into them, society indoctrinates you into your gender role(s) from birth to death and expect you to adhere to them. When you're younger, you don't know that much nor the way of the world. So how are you supposed to know any different? Typically the teen years is when people are exposed to new ways of things and/or old things they never new about.
Teen years are time of change little by little for most, mass change for some, etc etc. This is typically when people begin to branch out from their ideals, morals, beliefs, etc etc established by their family and/or whatever form of upbringing someone has. A lot of teens realize many things around this time, such as that the come to the co
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Fangirling :icondottir-of-loki:Dottir-Of-Loki 0 4
Literature
A life in transition
I dodged the signs for years you see, kept pushing the thoughts out of my mind. I am sure most people do and have in similar respects, fear is typically the main driver for such a thing...burying who you are deep down inside so that know one ever knows.
I buried these thoughts so deep down, that I largely forgot about them for years. Society pressures people to conform, I thought I escaped that mindset they tried to instill in me. Turns out I duped myself into believing that, and I realize that now. I have come to terms with the fact I was "born" a male...but I wish to be female.
I said born because what sex you are and what gender you are, they are two different things and I realize that now. Fact of the matter is, I'm scared what my family will think. I already suffered a huge backlash via a family member last year, when I told said family member about my conversion from Christianity to Asatru.
I am a coward, I fear reprisal yet again. That family member who practically disowned me a
:iconDottir-Of-Loki:Dottir-Of-Loki
:icondottir-of-loki:Dottir-Of-Loki 5 0

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Dottir-Of-Loki
Snowy
United States
You can all me Snowy

(A life in transition)

Starting upon my journey to my true self, haters need not comment.

This is a zone for understanding and the search for personal truth, so keep that in mind while you're here.


Yes I was "born" male, but I have recently come to terms with the fact...that doesn't sit right with me. It's not who I am or have ever truly been, I know that now. It was quite the realization to say the least, only wish it didn't take me so many years to figure it out.

So now here I am, currently starting my journey to my true self. At the moment, its slow going (mostly due to lack of funds) and finding support to help through this is hard. Stories about people whom have gone mtf or ftm, and made it out okay...those give me hope. It makes me happy to realize that I am really a woman deep down inside, but also scared of potential backlash for going public with it.

I prefer if you thought, regarded, called me, etc etc female pronouns and/or nouns.


....happily taken <3
Interests

Activity


Back in Black: Part 01
Well, I'm in the process of reviving my goth days. and this is my favorite pic from my test set today
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Hair Dyed Red
Well i got my hair dyed today, while it looks orangy in the pic...it's just the lighting, trust me.
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Fun with Cotton Candy
The silly pic from today's set of pics I took...cute af or what?


XD
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straw hat
.....how does it look? >///>     really hoping my boyfriend will like this overall look on me...
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Comments


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:iconnahiti:
nahiti Featured By Owner Mar 2, 2017  Hobbyist
Thank you for the fav, Snowy! :D I'm glad you liked my art! ^^
Here, have a Llama!

I hope you have an awesome day! :happybounce:
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:iconnahiti:
nahiti Featured By Owner Mar 2, 2017  Hobbyist
And thank you SO MUCH FOR THE WATCH!!! I really appreciate it!! :happybounce:
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:iconforeverpregnant:
ForeverPregnant Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2017
Happy birthday!
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:icondottir-of-loki:
Dottir-Of-Loki Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2017
ty!
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:iconpmasterm:
PMasterM Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you for the watch :]
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:iconshewolfofmn:
SheWolfofMN Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2016  Hobbyist Artist
Thanks for the :+fav:
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:iconseanmaguire1991:
SeanMaguire1991 Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2016
Thanks for the Fave!!
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:iconjief-r:
JieF-R Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2016  Professional Digital Artist
Thank you for the favorite of "cyborg angel"
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:icondottir-of-loki:
Dottir-Of-Loki Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2016
it was very well done ^.^
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:iconthedollknight:
thedollknight Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2016
Thank you for watching me!
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